ACT I

FADE IN:

2. EXT. - ROAD TO THE CITY OF VEGA - MID MORNING

A lone Eve walks eastward on a hard packed dirt road. It is filled with people going to and from nearby Vega.

A curious Eve scans her fellow travelers. One group catches her eye. A flashy man is entertaining a handful of women whom he appears to be winning over with his crooked toothed smile.

As they pass, she hears the man speak.

The place was so peaceful and oh-so-boring less than a month ago and then POOF, overnight it's the hippest, happeningest city this side of Greece! Ya Baby!

He slaps one of the women's backside.

Further down the road, Eve passes other travelers. They are dressed poorly and seem to be disgusted with life. Some are carrying large sacks on their backs; others are pulling carts behind them.

Eve approaches them.

Excuse me, but could I trouble you for a moment?

No, I do NOT know the best casinos in town. No, I don't know where the brothels are. And no, I will not help you throw away your soul to corruption!

Oh no. You misunderstood. I had heard about this city called Vega. That people were dedicated to pursuing peace and community. I wanted to visit, but in my travels, I've heard things have changed...

Please, excuse my earlier outburst. So much riff raff has moved into the city that it doesn't even look like the same place where I grew up! Even the people are all so changed. Greed has colored their senses! That's why I'm leaving, and if you've a care for your soul, you won't go near that wretched city!

So, it's true.

I'm afraid so. The city is so crooked, it could corrupt an Elijian!

A look of determination crosses Eve's face.

Not all Elijians.

Thank you for your help.

Eve continues toward the city, as the woman, shaking her head, watches her for a moment before moving on.

Eve spots a cloaked person up ahead who is expertly pilfering a sizable purse from an unsuspecting victim.

Working her way through the crowd towards the whistling thief, she purposely 'bumps' into the cloaked figure.

His gleeful whistle abruptly stops as he drops the purse.

Eve swoops down quickly and snatches up the purse before the thief has a chance to reach for it. As they both rise, she recognizes the face of the thief.

Autolycus! You sly dog. It's been far too long.

Eve! What a surprise to see you.

As he speaks he tries discreetly to take back the purse.

What brings you to this part of the country?

Eve holds the purse out of his reach, smiling nonchalantly.

Oh, righting wrongs and a little bit of R & R.

And what about you? Picking pockets seems a little low for the 'King of Thieves', don't you think?

Heh, well... you know, it never hurts to brush up on the basics. And these folk aren't the type to miss a few coins.

I see.

Drawing herself up close to the King of Thieves, Eve holds the pouch just out of reach and pats rigorously on his back in congratulations.

Taking Autolycus by the hand, they quickly mull through the crowd until they catch up with his victim and as they do, she tugs on the sleeve of the man.

Now, Eve darling, let's not do anything hasty here.

Eve grins at him.

This IS the man you said dropped this, isn't it?

Heh... heh... yeah, that's him... Of course, I could be wrong...

These old eyes ain't what they used to be!

The man vigorously pats his waist, a shocked expression on his face.

By the gods! I didn't even know I'd dropped it!

Eve turns to Autolycus, whose face is flustered.

Oh kind sir! How noble of you to find this poor man's purse!.

Autolycus watches in horror as Eve holds the purse out to its rightful owner.

This kind gentleman was afraid we'd never catch up to you!

Hey, t'anks babe. It was my lucky day at the tables.

He looks Eve over appraisingly, top to bottom.

Maybe we could spend it together and you could get lucky, too!

Eve jumps as she feels her backside being pinched.

I'm sorry, no. I have to look after my... uh, father.

C'mon, daddy. We'll have to hurry to get to the inn in time for the early bird special!

Autolycus looks at her shocked and mouths 'Daddy?'

Watching as the man tucks away his purse more securely Autolycus' face turns a touch sour.

Now what'd you go and do that for!? Do you know how many dinars were in there!?

He throws his hands up in frustration.

Now the Autolycus my mother talked about was said to have "a heart of gold, despite his profession." Perhaps she was embellishing the truth?

You really know how to make and break an old man's day, don'tcha? It's great to see you again, but the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

He hitches a thumb over his shoulder towards the retreating traveler.

Always up for a good deed. If you had been anyone else, well, I guess I never would have been caught and I'd be on my way to the casinos with a fresh bag of dinars! And that crack about 'daddy' is a vicious blow to a man's self-esteem.

Always glad to help out an old friend.

Heading my way?

Autolycus considers the question with a charmingly crooked smile.

Promise you'll look the other way?

Nope.

Fair enough. Lead on.

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

3. EXT. - CITY OF VEGA - LATE AFTERNOON

Eve and Autolycus walk into the bustling city of Vega. The city is surprisingly clean. Huge marble statues of the various gods align the streets on either side. A cacophony of sounds from vendors and buyers bargaining for wares permeates the air. Some arguing voices ring through the air as well as sounds of a minor brawl breaking loose further down the street. Scantily dressed women are perched on busy street corners flaunting their 'wares' and offering themselves to the passing folks for a small fee.

Autolycus gets a gleeful look in his eyes as they wander from expensive jewelry and trinkets to delectable foods and silks. His fingers twitch in anticipation.

I knew this trip was going to be worth while!

He looks around curiously.

Strange...

Eve regards him curiously.

What's so strange?

Well, for the size of this city and all the ripe pickings, I'm surprised there aren't any little brats scampering around snatching up money purses...

or more legitimate Surplus Acquirers like myself.

You mean THIEVES like yourself don't you?

I'll have you know my dear lady, that mine is a very reputable trade. It takes a certain finesse... a special skill... to make it as the King of Thieves.

Eve hides a smile, her attention concentrated on what's going on around them.

This isn't at all like the Vega I heard about.

Still, things seem to be running smoothly.

Perhaps a little too smoothly.

They continue past the vendors and down a street marked 'Broadway' where theaters and casinos reside beside the classier brothels.

A large marble fountain, a mermaid as its centerpiece, graces the city square.

Water splashes from the mermaid's cupped hands to flow down her sculpted body in glittering streams.

Two street performers juggling lit torches between them force Eve and Autolycus to give them a wide berth.

Eve looks around in confused awe.

This is definitely NOT what I was expecting.

It's all I dreamed of!

He sees a scantily clad woman blowing him a kiss and a wink as she walks past him. His eyes follow her dreamily.

...And more! Come to daddy!

Following the moving women with a mocking motion, Autolycus makes little grabbing motions in the air.

Hubba hubba!

Eve can't suppress a groan. Shouting voices coming from the direction of the mermaid fountain catch her attention.

A buxom woman is yelling at another beautiful, yet scantily clad showgirl.

Well, well, well, what have we got here? I see the scum o' the pond is overflowin' onto the streets today!

Oh how cute, the animal talks. Your owner must be very proud of you.

Autolycus' attention is quickly diverted to the two feuding women a short distance away as they fly at one another scratching, biting and pulling at each other's hair in a spectacular cat fight.

Autolycus watches with a lustful eye as the two women continue to fight.

Rrrowr!

Eve punches him in the arm.

You know you could be helping out instead of encouraging it!

Autolycus doesn't take his eyes off the catfight.

You're right. We should definitely do something.

Grinning, Autolycus continues to watch. He makes no move to intervene. Eve rolls her eyes in exasperation.

Men!

Eve quickly closes the distance between herself and the women. She squeezes between the raging opponents. Within moments, they are pulling and scratching her as well.

In an effort of control, Eve throws the street woman into a headlock and staves off the showgirl with her free hand and leg.

That's ENOUGH!

With great difficulty, Eve holds both squirming women at arm's length and attempts a little diplomacy.

You are both grown women! Tearing one another apart isn't going to solve anything.

The showgirl takes another fruitless swipe at her antagonist.

Maybe not, but it sure will feel good!

Only for a moment and then what? Hmm?

Both women stop struggling for a moment before the street woman speaks up haughtily.

Well it's the likes of her kind struttin' their stuff through the streets as tho' they were queens is just not right I tell ya!

Well if you had these...

... And some talent besides braying like a donkey...

The Showgirl is suddenly cut off as the other woman growls something incomprehensible, and lunges at her with renewed vigor.

Why you good-for-nothing sow!

Eve is caught in the middle, trying to keep the two shrieking women apart.

A crowd has begun to form. Voices heckle the two women on, while other voices can be heard laughing and placing bets on who will win. One of the voices is Autolycus.

Place your bets here folks! Fifty dinars on the warrior of peace!

He makes his way through the crowd, inching his way closer to the action.

Both women, frustrated at not being able to get to the other, pick Eve up and toss her into the base of the fountain, and resume their screaming match with flying fists.

This is NOT my idea of fun, ladies! All this fighting and insults won't solve anything!

Eve, dripping wet, jumps out of the fountain. Her face is filled with rage. The two women stop, a look of apprehension on their faces. Eve grabs both of them and throws them into the fountain.

Cool off, the both of you!

All you're doing is destroying your hearts with all this hate and envy. If you can find the love inside of you, it will help make you whole and forgive those who do you wrong.

A faint look of self satisfaction graces Eve's face as she notices that both women slow their efforts to destroy one another and actually look thoughtful.

CUT TO:

4. CITY SQUARE

The crowd begins to heckle the women, urging them to continue their fight and angrily losing a bet that seemed like a sure thing.

Grinning at his obvious triumph, Autolycus glances at the two women and takes a closer look. His jaw goes slack.

In the background, we see Eve talking to the two women who have calmed down.

Tara? No... That can't be her!

Autolycus rubs his eyes. Directly behind Eve and the two women, two men begin to their way towards the fountain. One is tall and slim, dressed like a dancer. The other, dressed like a successful merchant, is older, shorter, and stockier.

Autolycus rubs his eyes more vigorously.

Joxer!? Salmoneus!?

I must be going senile. Gods, I feel a headache coming on.

CUT TO:

5. MERMAID FOUNTAIN

As the two men approach some distance away, the older woman, wringing water from her clothes, grudgingly leaves. The younger one, also wringing water from her clothing, remains.

Thank you for helping me. I'm Talia.

Nice to meet you. I'm Eve.

Eve. That's a pretty name.

It suits you.

Thanks.

Talia looks Eve up and down, clearly impressed by her air of confidence.

That was amazing how you talked that woman into calming down like that. You have a real way with words.

Not to mention one helluva throw.

Well, I did what had to be done. I'm glad I was able to help out.

Are you new in town? Maybe I could show you around; I know some places where they serve the best food.

Talia's focus on Eve is broken as the young showgirl sees her dance partner and rival.

Oh sure Jay, automatically assume I started it. Like you're Oh So Perfect.

Jay's gaze turns from Talia to Eve. We see a softening of his features. His scowl is replaced by a silly grin.

Well, hello there.

Stepping forward, Jay brushes an annoyed Talia aside and smoothly picks up Eve's hand kissing it with debonair charm.

It's not often I come across a woman as beautiful and gracefully built as myself.

Talia pushes Jay aside in disgust. Eve stands in mute shock looking uncomfortable.

The shorter man pushes Jay aside and rushes to the aid of his prima showgirl. Anxiously, he does a quick once-over to make sure nothing is broken or out of place. He then turns his attention to Eve.

I don't care WHAT this was all about, but Talia is GOLD do you hear me? She's better than gold! She's my prima showgirl and she's worth more than you'll ever own! You can rest assured that the magistrates will be hearing from me about this!

Sal slides his cape off and lays it across Talia's wet shoulders as he throws a protective arm around her. Talia rolls her eyes and shrugs him away.

Calm down, Sal. She was helping me. Some woman picked a fight and Eve was nice enough to break us up.

He is such the mother hen!

Mother hen? You bet your sweet cheeks I am! I've lost practically everything else. I am not taking any chances with my two trouble-making dancers extraordinaire!

Sal begins to walk away alone.

Now, let's shake it boys and girls; time is money and we're wasting it out here chit-chatting.

Neither Jay nor Talia make a move to follow Sal as he walks away rambling on to the air.

Jay turns to Eve.

You, take my breath away.
I've been captured by your gaze
It's so hard not to stay
In your love-ly grace

Oh come on Jay. That's a little thick even for you.

Bumping Jay out of the way with her hip, Talia throws an arm around Eve's shoulders guiding her away from the crowd.

Who wants to listen to you when we'd all rather be listening to her?

Tell us about yourself. Do you live around here? Are you planning on sticking around?

Talia, DO you mind? This lovely lady and I were talking.

Breaking himself away from collecting his winnings from the crowd, Autolycus sees poor Eve losing ground with her two admirers. Autolycus makes his appearance, sliding up beside his friend and putting his arm around her shoulder. Eve gives him a sidelong glance, reminiscent of Xena's.

He complies with a nervous grin.

Eve darling, sorry I'm so late. Who're your friends? We haven't been properly introduced.

Autolycus steps cautiously between the two dancers. He places a hand on their backs, almost caressingly on Talia's.

She gives him a hard look, and he quickly places his hand on her shoulder and leads them away from Eve, toward a casino sporting a naked mermaid and a sign that reads, "Poseidon's Fortunes".

As he leads them away, they struggle slightly. Jay, a pleading look on his face, glances back at Eve.

Eve takes several steps backward.

I, uh, forgot to uh...

You were going to pay a visit to all those poor orphans, remember?

That's it! That's right!

Silly me, how could I have forgotten?!

But, but ...

Eve spins on her heels and rushes off in the opposite direction and disappears in the crowd.

Nice meeting you two!

But Eve, the orphanage is gone!

Tara! Joxer! I-I mean, Talia and Jay, have I mentioned how you look exactly like some old friends of mine?

Talia and Jay both whip their heads around. They stare at Autolycus with curious looks. Both speak at the same time.

How do you know my mother?

What about my uncle Joxer?

FADE OUT:

END ACT I

ACT II