ACT II

10. EXT. STUDIOS AVONDALE - EARLY MORNING

Lots of Police cars with blaring sirens try to follow a bright red Mitsubishi Evo X rally car taking a shortcut over the flats behind the studio in Avondale. While the coppers get bogged down, the red rally car spins around 360 degrees before heading for the back entrance of the studio. Sure hands perform a hand brake turn, reversing the car in a Xena Exec Prod parking space.

A heavily pregnant Lucy steps up and out of the cramped position - a haggard looking biographer is still sitting white faced in the passenger seat in complete shock

CO-STAR

Lucy - what happened to the Mercedes?

LUCY

Try outrunning the cops in a Mercedes when you're late for work.

CO-STAR

But you're 15 minutes early…

 

LUCY

(very big evil grin)

I have many skills.

Lucy squints at the Police cars bogged down on the Avondale flats.

CO-STAR

Won't the cops arrest you?

LUCY

(unconcerned)

I'm sure Uncle Kevin will be delighted to defend my case.

The biographer whimpers, as Lucy walks around to the other side of the car to see to her passenger.

LUCY

(sudden compassion)

Are you all right dear? Here, let me help you…

Renee comes rushing out carrying revised scripts and stuff.

Lucy leaves her biographer in the passenger seat.

RENEE

Lucy - can you give me a lift to Bethells? Need to be there in 5 minutes.

LUCY

(broad smile)

Sure! Hop in and hold onto your horses.

Renee dives into the back seat with a handful of scripts and stuff.

Lucy slides over the bonnet of her car and gets behind the wheel.

CO-STAR

But Lucy, that's a 40 minute drive…

Papers go flying as Lucy is gone in seconds flying top-speed over the flats towards Bethell's Valley. While, the horn is playing the tune of the famous General Lee.

CUT TO:

11. EXT. BETHELL'S VALLEY ON SET - MORNING

RENEE

Quiet on the set… ACTION!

(squints)

No… wait!

The camera is still rolling as Renee runs onto the set pulling forth someone hiding nearby. As Gabrielle, wearing a slightly modified Season 4 outfit draws her sais out of her Season 5 boots.

GABRIELLE

I know this guy…

RENEE

(holding him by his collar)

So do I… he's been following me everywhere.

(sneezes)

hay-fever…

Renee wipes her nose with a tissue.

CUT TO:

STALKER

Please can I write a script? I studied comedy - I can be funny.

GABRIELLE

(using point of sai to fiddle with his ROC tie)

He reminds me of Joxer…

CUT TO:

CUT TO:

RENEE

(pondering)

We can officially make him a SUSA Executive Producer…

STALKER

(beat later - fearfully)

But the SUSA Serial Killer is out there.

GABRIELLE

(unmoved and cold)

A decoy - clever girl.

The Stalker escapes and runs straight into Hope. He is instantly mesmerized with fear as Hope's scary eyes lock with his.

DISSOLVE TO:

12. INT. ON SITE, WINNEBAGO - AROUND LUNCH

XENA

Wouldn't it be nice to reunite Xena with her family and Gabrielle with hers?

RENEE

That's a straight move. The subbers aren't going to be happy about this.

LUCY

You'll figure out something to make the subbers happy.

(beat - smiling)

You always do.

Scratching record sound can be heard.

CLEA

(holding a long fax printout)

Lucy - the fans disagree. The Shippers are very happy but the Subbers want more X&G doing… y'know?

LUCY

We can't do that, Clea. It's a family movie.

CLEA

So we are allowed to have senseless violence of burn-fight-kill in a family movie, but we can't have sex in it? That doesn't sound fair.

RENEE

We've got a lot of kissing scenes - that's what the fans want, isn't it?

CUT TO:

Ares suddenly appears in a lightening flash.

ARES

This was not part of the deal.

CLEA

WOW! It's Ares!?!

RENEE

(innocent smile)

What wasn't Ares?

(beat)

Talk to my producer.

ARES

Does nothing faze her?

LUCY

(chuckles)

The shy girl from Texas has learned some kiwi tricks. She's showing you who's in charge.

ARES

The deal still stands?

LUCY

(pointing to Stalker)

Hush Ares - the walls have ears.

The Stalker of Renee and Gabrielle hides nearby.

ARES

(undeterred)

Let me give you some free advice…

LUCY

(quizzical look)

What?

ARES

Do not trust Hope. She'll try anything to hit back at Xena and Gabrielle.

LUCY

Don't worry - we have her on a tight leash.

DISSOLVE TO:

13. INT. SECRET LAB OPPOSITE SKYTOWER, AUCKLAND - NIGHT

Ares is pacing nervously. He watches as Mac loads in a CD and loud music of Linkin Park  begins playing.

LINKIN PARK

Crawling in my skin,

This is the way I feel.

Fear is how I fall,

Confusing what is real…

The music gets interrupted and the correct program CD gets inserted. Images begin flashing on the screen.

CUT TO:

MAC

(wipes brow)

That was close!

ARES

Are you sure this is going to work?

MAC

I've done this before when we made the Xena and Gabrielle clones.

Three figures - Callisto, Alti and Velasca - are seen strapped upright as images illuminate their features. One by one they awaken.

MAC

(mumbling)

Do you have any idea how difficult it was to clone these women?

Ares thumbs to a 'NO ENTRY' sign.

ARES

(very big grin)

At least you've cloned the entire Amazon Nation.

MAC

(sighs)

If only they liked men… I would be on cloud nine.

Cigarette smoke makes Mac suddenly have a coughing fit.

MAC

(frustrated)

There's no smoking…

(cough)

…allowed in here.

UNKNOWN MAN

(calm voice)

You can be replaced.

A hand holding a cigarette between thumb and fore-finger disappears into the shadows. Smoke and light create an eerie illumination exposing a silhouette of an unknown man standing in the shadows observing the procedure.

CUT TO:

CLIP

CUT TO:

CALLISTO

(mad smile)

Ooooh… Pretty lights.

VELASCA

(annoyed)

Let-Me-Go!

Velasca begins to struggle.

ALTI

(pleased and purring)

It is so good to be back.

A figure walks into the room.

HOPE

Sisters. There is work to be done. Dahak needs fresh blood to come into this world. We have to eliminate certain people.

ALTI

Does this include Xena?

VELASCA

And Gabrielle?

ARES

That might be negotiable.

VELASCA

I still have a score to settle with them.

CALLISTO

(laughing hysterically)

That sounds like so much fun.

ALTI

Never mind Dahak… I want to steal some souls

ARES

(to Hope)

I told you this was a bad idea.

HOPE

(undeterred)

Nevertheless we will work together to finish our mission.

ARES

Ehm… ya… your mission. I'm just here so that you can survive the day in one piece.

UNKNOWN MAN

Give them the ambrosia.

Ares takes the unknown man out of earshot of the others.

ARES

I don't think this Jello is going to convince any of them it's real.

UNKNOWN MAN

That's why you will spice it up a bit…

(takes another draft of the cigarette)

…with your powers.

ARES

I don't think that is a good idea, Charlie.

CHARLIE

(dead calm)

Nevertheless you will do it.

Charlie holds a plate of Jello in front of Ares and the latter sprinkles some pixie dust over it.

VALESCA

Ambrosia? Give me some!

CALLISTO

None for me thanks.

(beat - buffing her fingernails against her chest, and then blowing on them)

It is so dull being immortal.

ALTI

(growling)

That all depends on what your goal is.

CHARLIE

Just give them enough to survive Xena.

VELASCA

Just give me some Ambrosia now so I can get rid of Xena.

CALLISTO

She can be so impatient.

(sneer)

Maybe just a little bit for me to get my juices going.

Charlie smiles evilly - taking another draught of his cigarette - he watches as the clones consume the fake ambrosia.

CUT TO:

14. EXT. INDUSTRIAL AREA, AUCKLAND - MORNING

A red Mitsubishi Evo X rally car is racing through downtown Auckland. It is closely chased by a red Chevrolet Camaro driven by Alti. The Evo X does a hand-brake turn into a car dump, zig-zagging through piled up wrecks.

The Evo X stops abruptly near a crane just as the Camaro pulls up nearby and Alti steps out.

ALTI

(raspy voice)

Xena!

LUCY

(smug)

Actually I'm Lucy Lawless

XENA

ALALALALALALALALA ----------------------SHEEEEEEEYA!

Xena somersaults through the air cutting off Alti's early retreat.

LUCY

That's Xena - Surprise!

ALTI

Sheeyit!

CUT TO:

CUT TO:

LUCY

Are you sure she's the SUSA Serial Killer?

XENA

If she's not - then we're in big trouble.

LUCY

I know a good lawyer - several actually.

CUT TO:

15. INT. ROB'S AVONDALE STUDIO OFFICE - MORNING

Rob is nervous - someone opens the door to his office and comes in silently.

ROB

Who's there!?

VOICE

The horror writer afraid? That's a new one!

ROB

(voice quivering)

Hope!

HOPE

You're the last one.

ROB

Did Alti put you up to this?

HOPE

(sensing danger)

Clever! A trap…

MC and Toa unite in vain to subdue Hope, prop swords raised as they charge at her - arcane power shoves them back. Gabrielle comes into the room wearing a Season 3 outfit and hair extensions, but still wears the Season 5 boots with sais.

GABRIELLE

HOPE!

HOPE

Mother!

GABRIELLE

You don't have to do this.

HOPE

Oh but I must Mother. Rob killed any chance I may have had to avenge myself on Xena.

GABRIELLE

The killing has to stop somewhere. Come with me. Come to Mama.

Hope takes a step towards Gabrielle - Rob pulls a lever that opens a trapdoor and Hope falls through - a burst of flame spews out of the opening.

GABRIELLE

(angry)

Was that really necessary?

Rob sits down and casually continues baiting another hook before answering Gabrielle.

ROB

Self-preservation. By the way, was she the SUSA Serial Killer?

GABRIELLE

(tears)

I'm not sure. Oh Hope.

Gabrielle weeps for her evil daughter.

CUT TO:

FADE TO BLACK.

END ACT II

ACT III