The following episode written for The Xena Warrior Princess
Virtual Season is a work of fiction based upon the television series Xena: Warrior
Princess. The original characters are used strictly for fan purposes and not for profit.
There is no intent to infringe upon or violate any copyrights held by Studio USA,
Renaissance Pictures, Universal Television or any other organisation that owns the rights
to this series.
The script, story ideas, and any characters created by the authors
that are not part of the original series are copyrighted and remain the sole property of
those authors. Also, any original artworks are copyrighted and remain the sole property of
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Xena: Warrior Princess Virtual Season
Episode 7.13: Maids, Mazes and Minotaurs
Written by Andreya
Illustrated by Slash
(Xena Theme Song)
TEASER
1.INT. TAVERN IN ALOPECE NEAR ATHENS - DAY
In a tavern, a thug slouches over the bar swilling ale and bragging
how rich he is going to be in a few days time. The warrior woman sitting next to him
shoves away the wine cup she is holding and heads quickly for the door.
BARKEEP
Bit loose with your information weren’t you?
The thug looks slightly bleary-eyed. He belches. Twice.
THUG
Whaddya mean?
The barkeep glances at the door then back at the thug.
BARKEEP
Telling her what you been up to!
THUG
Her!……Who’s her!?………
The thug glances at the door and then back at the barkeep.
THUG
Ah, you mean her!……oh, she’s nobody!
BARKEEP
Nobody!……nobody!
He leans forward conspiratorially and whispers.
BARKEEP
You been living abroad or something? That was the Warrior
Princess!
The thug looks bemused, then enlightened, then horrified. He jumps
up, scattering everything on the bar.
THUG
XENA!
He bolts for the door muttering that he knew Amphipolis was a
mistake. The barkeep shakes his head and grins.
CUT TO:
2. EXT. CAMPSITE OUTSIDE OF A TOWN CLOSE TO ATHENS - DAY
Dust and cooking utensils fly in all directions as Argo skids to a
halt smack in the middle of the camp and Xena throws herself from the saddle. Gabrielle is
about to verbally flay Xena alive when she catches the look on her friend’s face.
GABRIELLE
Xena! What’s wrong?
Gabrielle retrieves their best frying pan from a bush.
XENA
Gabrielle, get the gear together quick, we gotta go,
I’ll explain later.
GABRIELLE
But I’ve only just set everything out!
But Xena has already gone to cool Argo off after their mad dash from
town. Rolling her eyes skywards and flinging her hands in the air Gabrielle heaves a deep
sigh and begins to gather their scattered belongings, packing them all away again and
loading them on to the back of the horse that stands patiently nearby.
GABRIELLE
(To the horse)
Sorry about this but you know what she’s like.
CUT TO:
3. EXT. ON THE ROAD - DAY
Xena urges Argo into a fast canter. Gabrielle’s grip on the
lead rope tightens, her other hand readjusting around the warrior’s waist.
XENA
Back in town I overheard a conversation between a barkeep and a
customer……
Gabrielle snorts.
GABRIELLE
Ha! in a tavern eavesdropping again; that’s how you find out
about all the villages that need saving.
XENA
…will you let me finish?
GABRIELLE
Sorry!
XENA
Thank you. As I was saying, in town……
Gabrielle’s head wags from side to side.
GABRIELLE
Yeah, yeah, I got that bit, get on with it.
Xena half turns in the saddle, aims an elbow that was meant for her
friend’s ribs but the aim goes a little high.
GABRIELLE
Ow!
Gabrielle winces.
GABRIELLE
Did you have to do that?
Xena smirks a smirk that her friend does not see.
XENA
Now maybe you’ll let me finish.
GABRIELLE
Sorry. Go on. What did you overhear that was so important that we
had to scramble before even having a bite to eat?
XENA
Word has it that the latest lot of people have been rounded up and
taken to Knossus for sacrifice to the Minotaur……
GABRIELLE
I heard that story back in Potedeia. King Minos of Crete asked
Poseidon for a bull so that he could sacrifice it back to him. Poseidon gave Minos a
magnificent white bull. However, Minos went back on his word and didn’t sacrifice the
bull to Poseidon. Poseidon was furious and as punishment caused Minos’s wife to lust
after the bull.
Xena’s nods as Gabrielle continues.
GABRIELLE
She became pregnant and the result was the Minotaur, and Minos keeps
it underground in the labyrinth. It’s said that every 9 years 7 men and 7 women are
‘selected’ to be taken to Knossus for sacrifice to the Minotaur. Such a sad
story don’t you think?
XENA
It’s no story Gabrielle. The last time it happened I was still
a warlord and I didn’t care about other people’s problems. But this time
there’s a difference. This time two of the people were from Amphipolis……
GABRIELLE
But the story says the people are always from Athens.
XENA
Well it seems the Athenians are far from happy with being the chosen
ones and are looking further afield. These are two people I know from our last visit to
Amphipolis during Solstice. And I mean to get them back.
Gabrielle laughs.
GABRIELLE
Look out Minotaur, here we come!
Suddenly Argo balks. Xena is immediately on the alert. As they round
a corner they see a half dozen roughs standing in the middle of the road. Xena stops her
horse and reaches behind to help Gabrielle to the ground, never taking her eyes from the
group in front.
XENA
Afternoon boys, how can we help ya?
The thugs charge. Xena flips off Argo………
XENA
Aiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiii!
…and lands nimbly between her horse and the thugs, sword drawn,
and smiling.
XENA
Come and get it!
Xena backhands the first thug with one fist and a second with the
other. Both end up on their butts. The others hesitate.
THUG LEADER
(Yells)
Whatsthematter!! Don’t stop! What’s one and a half against
six?!
The thugs attack again. An insulted Gabrielle joins in. Xena whacks
another two whilst Gabrielle quickly despatches two more. The last two make a dive for
cover. Gabrielle, her blood up goes after one as Xena pounces on the leader.
XENA
Oh no you don’t……
Xena puts the pinch on him and calls to Gabrielle.
XENA
Let him go. I got the one I want. He’s the one I
saw in the tavern……
She turns back to her captive.
XENA
(glaring down at thug)
I've just cut off the flow of blood to your brain. You’ll be
dead in 30 seconds unless you tell me what I want to know. What are you up to? Talk, now
or suffer the consequences!
THUG LEADER
(Gasping and gurgling)
Please! Stop! I’m sorry……aaghhhh…
XENA
Why are you following us?
THUG LEADER
I had to stop you. You can’t stop
the sacrifices, I won’t get paid if you do!
XENA
What about these others?
THUG LEADER
(Gasping)
Only here for the ride…
(beat)
Okay, Okay, They’re in it too. Stop now, please!
Xena releases him from the pinch and fists him in the face.
