| ACT I
2. INT. KING'S GUEST ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
FADE IN:
Xena and Gabrielle enter the suite the king has provided to them for the night. Xena looks extremely tired. Gabrielle stumbles a bit and starts to giggle. Both seem a bit drunk as Xena helps right Gabrielle, leading her to a massive sized bed.
XENA
(wondering out loud)
I wonder if he got us drunk and made us sign something tonight. I, Xena, Warrior Princess, do solemnly swear to lead a Tartarus-bent expedition into no man’s land by penalty of death.
Xena lets Gabrielle fall back against the mattress, which starts a whole new round of giggles from Gabrielle. Xena goes back to the door and locks it for the night. She turns and watches as Gabrielle makes 'snow angels' on the bed by waving her arms and legs.
GABRIELLE
Have you ever seen a bed this big Xena?
XENA
Yes.
GABRIELLE
Where?
(beat)
On second thought I don't want to know - - I'm sure there's a story there that I just do NOT want to hear.
Xena chuckles and starts to move over to the bed but she obviously gets a head rush and slows down her pace clutching her temples.
XENA
(sly grin)
Well, I never kiss and tell Gabrielle.
As Xena approaches she notices something on the bed. She quirks her head and walks over. She sees two sets of silk sleeping shifts laid out. One in blue, one in green.
GABRIELLE
What is it?
Gabrielle pauses her movements as she watches Xena picking up a note of some kind.
XENA
"Blue for the strong, steely-gazed warrior. Green for the strong, skillful bard. All the best, King Gabriel"
Gabrielle looks like she's about to cry as Xena takes off her breastplate.
GABRIELLE
That is so sweet. He grew up to be such a wonderful man Xena.
(beat)
And you named him after me that's just ...
(beat)
...so sweet.
XENA
(sighing)
Oh boy,
(beat)
we're at the sweet part of our stupor now.
(beat)
Next comes the 'beautiful' part.
We see Gabrielle's jaw literally drop to the bed and we see Xena now standing in the shift.
GABRIELLE
Gods above Xena you look absolutely beautiful in that.
(beat)
Truly beautiful.
XENA
Yep, saw it comin'.
(beat - smirk)
Let's go - we need to get you ready too.
Xena starts by fighting to get Gabrielle's boot off and the bard giggling furiously at her.
XENA
( continued)
Gabrielle quit pulling your toes back. I need to get your boots off.
GABRIELLE
(overly dramatic before giggling)
I'll die with my boots on!
XENA
That's fine but you're sleeping in bed without them - now come on. Work with me here.
GABRIELLE
You're no fun.
The boot slides off.
XENA
Yeah I know. Stoic warrior, yadayadayada.
The other boot comes off and Xena tosses it over her shoulder. She reaches up and unhooks Gabrielle's belt to slide her skirt off.
GABRIELLE
(giggling)
That tickles.
XENA
(struggling with the skirt)
Sorry. I'll be gentle.
She tosses the skirt over her shoulder. She climbs onto the bed and goes to work on Gabrielle's halter-top.
GABRIELLE
(soft voice)
Are we gonna do it?
XENA
Do what?
GABRIELLE
The mission. Are we going to tell King Gabriel yes?
XENA
I haven't decided. Thought we'd talk about it in the morning - when we have clearer heads.
Gabrielle is now in her britches and bosom wrap. Xena reaches over to put the shift on as Gabrielle raises her arms to help. It slides on.
GABRIELLE
I think we should.
(beat)
He's right you know - - if anyone can do it,
(beat)
we can.
XENA
Well, let's get some rest.
Xena pulls down the covers a bit and Gabrielle follows as Xena tucks them in. As Xena lies down Gabrielle nestles into her body.
XENA
(continued - teasing)
We've got a huge bed and you have to lay here?
Gabrielle nods, her eyes closing as she snuggled into Xena's shoulder.
GABRIELLE
(sleepy voice)
Warmer that way
(beat)
Soft.
Xena smiles at the bard although Gabrielle can't see it.
XENA
Goodnight Gabrielle.
GABRIELLE
(mumbled)
'Night Xena.
XENA
For the record, you're pretty sweet and beautiful yourself.
(beat)
The King's lived up to his namesake.
All Xena got was a sleepy grumble of approval.
FADE OUT.
3. INT. KING'S GUESTROOM - MORNING
FADE IN:
Gabrielle is in bed alone, moaning.
GABRIELLE
Xena?
(beat - then more insistent)
Xena?
XENA
Right here Gabrielle.
We see Xena in her leathers climb into the bed because of its size and try to move Gabrielle up.
GABRIELLE
I think I got hit with an ox cart last night.
XENA
(chuckling softly)
I'm sure it has nothing to do with the wine.
(handing her a mug)
Here. Drink this.
Gabrielle takes the mug and sniffs.
GABRIELLE
I had enough wine last night, thank you.
XENA
Drink it. You'll feel better.
GABRIELLE
I'm not turning into Meleager the Mighty here, am I Xena?
XENA
Far from it. You indulge once in a great while.
Gabrielle takes the mug of wine and starts to drink it - wincing at the taste but continuing.
GABRIELLE
I wonder what happened to Meleager. You know, how did his story end? Did it end? Maybe he's still out there someplace.
(beat)
Do you wonder what happened to our old friends?
XENA
Yes I do.
GABRIELLE
Who do you think of?
XENA
(smiling, remembering)
The King of Thieves.
GABRIELLE
(smiling as well)
Now there's a man I would trust with my life ...
(beat)
...just not my satchel.
XENA
(chuckling)
No one can say the battling bard of Poteidaia is dumb.
GABRIELLE
After all the wine I drank last night I have to admit I don't feel very smart. I mean ...
(beat)
... what if something happened last night. I couldn't fight if I tried.
XENA
Even warriors need a holiday to unwind Gabrielle. Besides I was in about the same shape you were.
GABRIELLE
Really?
XENA
Really.
GABRIELLE
You hide it much better.
XENA
(grinning)
Years of training. I think it's in the warlord training scroll - never look as drunk as you really are or you'll get your throat cut.
GABRIELLE
(chuckling)
Is that so? And where does one get a copy of the warlord training scroll?
XENA
(teasing smile)
Why? Getting bored of the greater good?
GABRIELLE
(smiling before taking a drink)
Never.
XENA
Ares has a vault full of 'em I think. But he still can't find his perfect 'chosen one'.
GABRIELLE
I think he has...
(beat)
...he just can't have her.
Xena and Gabrielle exchange a smile and Gabrielle takes another drink. Xena lets out a sigh.
XENA
So...
(beat)
...what are we going to tell King Gabriel?
GABRIELLE
(considering her answer)
I go where you go.
XENA
No this should be both our decision.
GABRIELLE
Do you want to go?
XENA
(also considering)
He's raised some good points.
(beat)
But what if - and I'm just throwing this out there - what if you're both wrong and the world is flat?
GABRIELLE
What if we travel farther than we expect or find a new land?
XENA
I'm not an explorer.
GABRIELLE
(grinning)
Sure you are.
(beat)
Don't tell me you don't like the idea of this adventure?
XENA
(guilty grin)
It has an appeal, I'll admit.
GABRIELLE
I admit it too.
(beat)
It could be our greatest adventure in fact. Years from now people will say 'Hercules who?'
XENA
(chuckling)
It's not my goal to upstage the 'big guy', as they call him. And yes, it could be our greatest adventure, but it could also be more danger than we're prepared for.
GABRIELLE
In truth, are we ever really prepared? Or do try to adapt and be flexible with what's thrown at us?
XENA
(very matter of fact)
You’ve got a point.
(beat)
Guess that means you want to do it?
GABRIELLE
Yes I do.
(beat)
Like I said, where you go, I go. But if you don't want to do this, then we'll pass and say no thank you.
Xena considers it and takes the empty mug from Gabrielle.
XENA
(grinning)
After we get back...
(beat)
...maybe we can look up Autolycus some time.
GABRIELLE
(looking anxious)
Does that mean yes?
XeNA
(nodding)
Let's tell King Gabriel he's got a deal.
FADE OUT.
4. EXT. A SEA SIDE DOCK - MORNING
FADE IN:
Xena is sitting on array of crates as Gabrielle walks up holding a pouch.
XENA
Did you get it?
GABRIELLE
Yes, but again, if you're not feeling well, drop the stoic bit and say so.
XENA
I'm not feeling well.
Xena swipes the pouch from Gabrielle's hand.
XENA
( continued)
But I'll feel better with these.
Xena pulls out what appears to be a clean root and starts to chew.
GABRIELLE
Seriously Xena. Maybe we should forego this adventure for the time being.
XENA
You heard King Toledo. This boat is leaving today regardless.
GABRIELLE
But I just-.
Xena holds up her hands.
XeNA
(grinning)
I know you're concerned. But I'll feel better in a few hours I'm sure.
Gabrielle bends over and picks up four bags, slinging two on each shoulder.
GABRIELLE
(nodding toward the ship)
Well then, shall we go introduce ourselves?
XENA
Lead the way.
Xena and Gabrielle walk the length of the dock and begin to board the ship when someone calls out.
SAILOR #1
Sorry ladies but you've got the wrong ship.
(pointing)
That one over there is heading to Egypt.
Xena gives a smirk.
XENA
And where's this one heading?
SAILOR #1
Wish I knew.
XENA
Looks we're on the right one after all.
Another man comes out from below deck and sees the two women. His stature and dress isn't as common as the deck hands.
CAPTAIN
Xena. Gabrielle. Pleased to see you made it.
SAILOR #1
Xena? This is the warrior Xena?
CAPTAIN
And Gabrielle.
SAILOR #1
But I thought-.
CAPTAIN
I know.
SAILOR #1
They're both women and you said-.
CAPTAIN
I know.
(to Xena and Gabrielle as he approaches)
King Gabriel has much faith in you and I have to say the stories he told at his party seem larger than life.
SAILOR #1
(walking along, continuing the conversation)
I heard one tale about how you tricked the Olympian Gods and killed 'em all! Boom! Bam! Smack!
The sailor starts to act out a melee before them and Gabrielle starts to chuckle.
CAPTAIN
You'll have to forgive Gades. He's the closest thing we've had to a bard...
(beat, nodding to Gabrielle)
...until now.
XENA
(to Gabrielle)
You didn't write I killed ALL the Gods did you?
GABRIELLE
No!
CAPTAIN
I'm sure stories get exaggerated as they are retold over time.
GADES
Yeah, probably. You know I heard other stories in pubs about you two too.
He gives a lecherous grin.
CAPTAIN
Gades! That's enough - go see to the rigging.
GADES
(nodding before scurrying off)
Aye, aye captain.
CAPTAIN
Well welcome aboard ladies. The ship you see over there is the 'Indis'. They'll be making the journey with us.
(pointing to a young good looking sailor)
Over there is Bellus, my first mate, if you ever need him.
XENA
Everything is in order then?
CAPTAIN
(smiling)
Yes. So make yourself comfortable. We have food for four months’ travel so we'll be here awhile.
GABRIELLE
Thank you Capt. Madrid.
CAPTAIN
Call me Theo please.
(beat)
We'll set sail shortly.
Xena and Gabrielle start to walk farther on the ships deck.
XENA
(whispering to Gabrielle)
'I've heard stories in pubs' - just what are you puttin' in those scrolls?
Gabrielle gives Xena a smug grin.
GABRIELLE
If you took the time to read them you'd know.
They continue to walk along, carrying their bags.
XENA
(growling threat)
Gabrielle.
Gabrielle simply chuckles.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT I
ACT II
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