The following episode written for The Xena Warrior Princess Virtual Season is a work of fiction based upon the television series Xena: Warrior Princess. The original characters are used strictly for fan purposes and not for profit. There is no intent to infringe upon or violate any copyrights held by Studio USA, Renaissance Pictures, Universal Television or any other organization that owns the rights to this series.

The script, story ideas, and any characters created by the authors that are not part of the original series are copyrighted and remain the sole property of those authors. Also, any original artworks are copyrighted and remain the sole property of those artists. Permission to use any of the written or drawn works herein must be submitted to the original author(s) and artist(s).

7.8 Flowers, Feathers, and Family

Written by Heather Creely and Hadley Langosy

Directed by Hadley Langosy and Ryan Keane

TEASER

1. EXT. - ATHENS - EVENING

Xena and Gabrielle are weaving their way through the bustling streets of Athens. Rumors have obviously been spreading of Xena's death for people are stopping and pointing as they pass. They pass a few shops and come to a halt outside a small tavern tucked between two larger buildings. Singing can be heard from inside and then a loud crash and a drunken figure comes reeling and laughing into the street. Meg comes stomping out after him, swinging a bar towel at him. She stops when she sees Xena and Gabrielle and a huge smile spreads across her face.

She gives Gabrielle and Xena each a hug, and then gives Xena a hearty slap on the back which almost knocks her off balance.

MEG

I knew you weren’t dead! You’re tough, just like me.

She smiles happily at the two of them and looks from one to the other.

MEG

Well?

GABRIELLE

(puzzled)

Well what?

MEG

Where's Joxer? Didn't you bring him back?

She pushes her way past them to get a good look at the street behind them, then turns around again, taking a quick look in the backpack Gabrielle has slung over her shoulder.

GABRIELLE

I'm sorry Meg, but we -

MEG

(cutting her off)

You two are always falling into lava pits, falling off cliffs, being crucified, chopped into pieces, and you always manage to make it back to the living.

(beat - depressed)

I was just hoping that you could bring him back, too.

 

XENA

(trying to explain)

You see, with Joxer...

MEG

(interrupting)

Well, I bet you two are hungry. Why don't I go try to scare up some grub.

She pushes back past them into the tavern, bellowing as she enters.

MEG

Virgil, we have company!

CUT TO:

2. INT. - TAVERN - EVENING

The tavern is nearly empty of customers. At this late hour, people are beginning to head home for the evening. Gabrielle recognizes one of Meg's young daughters, Kara, standing by the bar in her nightgown and smiles warmly at her. Kara smiles shyly back.

Meg leads them through the main room and into a backroom where Virgil can be seen telling bedtime stories to his two brothers and one of his sisters. Kara comes scampering in after them and sits down beside Virgil. He rises when he sees them enter.

VIRGIL

I thought you were dead. News has been spreading like Greek fire that you were gone.

He gives them each a hug.

XENA

(smiling)

I'm not that easy to get rid of.

GABRIELLE

(warmly)

It's good to see you again Virgil. How have you been?

VIRGIL

I’m fine. Trying to help keep the business going.

Meg has been watching their reunion and then turns to head into the kitchen to make something for them to eat. Virgil glances over at his sleepy younger siblings.

VIRGIL

I should probably get this bunch to bed. Then we'll talk?

He lifts his two sisters in his arms and carries them off to their bedroom, his brothers following sleepily behind. Once they leave, Gabrielle turns to Xena.

GABRIELLE

I feel so sad for Meg. She still misses Joxer so much. We should do something to cheer her up. Remind her of the good times.

(beat)

You know Xena, I have always wondered what Meg and Joxer's wedding was like.

Meg enters the room carrying a tray laden with two bowls of hot soup and a load of bread. She places them on the small table in the center of the room and glances at Xena and Gabrielle.

MEG

Get it while it's hot. I hope you like it spicy.

She hulks her aging body into one of the chairs and gestures for Xena and Gabrielle to sit down. They take their seats and Xena breaks into the loaf of bread.

GABRIELLE

Xena and I were talking, and we realized that we never got to hear about your wedding. Would you mind telling us about it?

VIRGIL

(from behind them)

Well, it's definitely a good story.

MEG

(dreamily)

He was so handsome in those days. He had passed through town shortly after Argo passed on. It was so romantic...

CUT TO:

3. INT. – BORDELLO – DAY

We see a younger Meg leaning over a bar, flirting with a handful of customers. Suddenly the door opens and Joxer walks in, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

JOXER

Meg, my love, I have come for you.

He swoops her over the bar and leans in to kiss her tenderly.

JOXER

I have been waiting ever so long for this day.

He is about to kiss her again when his head lifts to the sound of laughter.

CUT TO:

4. INT. – TAVERN – EVENING

Virgil is looking at his mom with tears of laughter in his eyes.

VIRGIL

Mom, that’s not how it happened. Dad told me that story at least a hundred times.

Meg ignores her son and continues on dreamily.

MEG

It was a perfect wedding. Well… it wasn’t always perfect. You know Joxer. But the excitement started in the days leading up to the wedding… wait… Virgil, you tell it. You’ll do it so much better.

Virgil comes and sits down at the table with them and squeezes his mother’s hand warmly.

VIRGIL

Ok, as Mom was saying, all the excitement started a couple days before the wedding, when the planning for the big day was being done. This is when both my uncles arrived, Jett and Jace. But I should really start from the beginning…

CUT TO:

5. EXT. – BORDELLO – DAY

A very tired Joxer approaches the door to the bordello. His armor is dirty and dented, and his face is covered in a layer of dust. He grabs for a rag he has tucked in his belt, and tries to wipe his face clean. After returning his rag to its proper place, Joxer takes a deep breath, stands up straight, and bursts through the bordello’s door.

6. INT. - BORDELLO - DAY

Meg can be seen standing at the counter, flirting with a handful of her customers. Suddenly the door flies open, and Joxer steps in. He stops at the entrance and looks at Meg.

JOXER

It is I, Joxer the Mighty, returning from my quest!

FADE TO BLACK.